"Woman Calls 911 After McDonald's Runs Out Of Nuggets"

Have you heard of this? Do you know about this?

Apparently the story doesn't live up to the headline -- I got as far as the first few paragraphs before realizing this -- which is a real shame since it honestly sounds like the best news story of the year. Not only is it utterly ridiculous, but it involves one of my favorite words: McNuggets. I think the world would be a much better place if people said "McNuggets" more. It really is a fun word.

Prior to this, my interesting/anecdotal/stupid news interest was drawn toward a story involving a local florist who was scammed out of $22,000 by "Reverend Benjamin Wallace" of Ghana's Christ the King Cathedral. Apparently the florist was contacted and asked to make 850 gift baskets and wreaths, and, failing to question why a church in Ghana would hire a small Canadian florist to handle this, was majorly ripped off.

""If I come out even - no further ahead, no further behind -- I'm happy with that," said Yeomans.

""And lesson learned.""

I suppose all you can do at times like that is laugh -- you've got to admire taking it in stride and all that. I can't help but be curious why a con-artist is interested in $22,000 worth of gift baskets and wreaths though.

And Now for Something Different...

Here's five news stories I'm tired of seeing, seemingly every night:

1) Young attractive starlet/pseudo celebrity is "up to it again"

Is this news? Does anyone actually enjoy hearing about what Britney Spears or Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan or that "Hannah Montana" kid is up to today? I understand there's an interest the lives of the celebrities and all that, but the other night I caught a story about Britney Spears's custody situation with her ex-husband (who for reasons I cannot explain but amuse me nonetheless I'll refer to as K-Fed) and it really felt like enough was enough. It's gone from news to being an invasion of privacy and is becoming unsettling to see.

2) Barack Obama is "up to it again"

Instead of continuing to either stir the pot and call Obama on every gaffe or incorrect statement he's made, or continue to further the idea that he's anti-American, a Muslim, or 'the-rumor-of-the-moment', how about focusing on the man's policy ideas? I mean, he's only running for President of the United States, and, let's face it, he's probably going to win. Isn't it a good idea to start discussing this stuff without having the conversation slide into sixth grade gossip fits?

3) Local county fairs

Enough with sending reporters to your county fairs or outside festivals or the like. The interviews with the local participants or organizers are always really awkward and offer the same talking points over and over again. It's nice you're letting us know what's going on, but, honestly, I think we all have a pretty good idea that there's going to be snacks, live concerts, and face painting, so you don't really need to spend fives minutes reminding us of this.

4) Local high school sports news

I didn't follow high school sports while I was in high school, why would I want to see footage of a bunch of tenth graders playing basketball when there are professional athletes out there? I understand that high school sports, particularly football, are important in some areas, but cover them during the morning or late night news and save the prime news time for... I don't want to say real news stories, but you get the idea.

5) Pets

There's a time and a place for pets on the news. You have your SPCA folks on the noon news hour, and your amazing pet story for the end of the nightly news to counter the dozen or so depressing stories that preceded it. Any altering of this delicate balance is subject to my ire.

As I started writing this I hadn't planned on being so negative, but I guess the thought of news stories that get on my nerves got me going.