What is it with some people?

Does anyone else have this kind of problem? I have a good friend -- we've known each other since elementary school -- and the guy just crosses the line a lot. Not all the time, but he'll just say something so incendiary that it makes me want to cut off contact with the guy. First time was during an argument with another friend. Can't remember the details, but it ended with me telling him he screwed up. So this other guy, let's call him Sean (that being his name and all), comes in and tells me "my whole life is a screw up, and all I do is sit around on my fat ass". Now replace "screw" with an expletive my PG-13 mentality prevents me from posting here, and you'll understand why I felt like punching him in the face.

Actually, now that I think of it -- and since I'm loathe to go back and edit this post for fear I'll lose my train of thought -- the first time was when I was at a pub with a few of guys, and Sean. I went to use the men's room and Sean thought it would be funny to throw wet paper towels at me. And then he pinched me in front of the waitress. Not just a little pinch. The son of a bitch grabbed me. After the fact it occurred to me that we were there for four hours, so that might've had something to do with my foul mood, but it was an unpleasant experience all around.

The third time was on messenger. I add that Sean is stubborn. Pleasant, most of the time, and actually very funny (more on that in a bit), but very stubborn. So when I was trying to have a serious conversation with Sean about my depression, I was taken aback by his attitude that I "just do it", whatever that might be, however difficult that might be. I tried to explain that it doesn't work that way, that, a lot of time, I don't have the drive to do the things I most enjoy these days. And the conversation went as follows:

Sean: those are all just excuses.......millions of ppl with depression do things for themselves........... you just chose not to

Me: Sean. I'm so offended by what you just said. I don't dispute that I'm lazy, but my life has ground to a halt by very serious depression that I've only just begun to feel like I'm making any forward movement through. I find it terribly offensive that you'd attribute any lack of movement to my own choice.

Sean: maybe it was your lifestyle that led to the depression, in which case it kind of was your choice........... i dont think depression is something that should be prevelant in someone your age. you have it good.....you just gotta find better ways of dealing with problems

Me: I can't even have this conversation with you right now.

Sean: thats also the problem.....

Me: If you want to know what is the cause of my depression, I'll have a frank conversation with you, but not over messenger.

Sean: you always want help but dont want to listen


The conversation went on a little longer. And that was, as far as I was concerned, the third strike. Thing is, I have a small handful of friends, and despite their faults, I can't afford to lose one. So after not speaking to him for a week or so, it more or less returned to business as usual. Until tonight. I just find myself unable to deal with Sean's negative attitude. And the stupid thing is why I'm so frustrated now. We were talking. He told me about this female comedian -- and he uses the term loosely -- that he went to high school with and he hates, mostly because she has the nerve to refer to herself as a comedian when, and I can attest to this as well, she isn't particularly funny. So I told Sean, who, as noted, is actually quite naturally funny. An angry sort of funny, but funny all the same. And what did he choose to tell me after telling him he was funny and should try putting together an act? That he'd "pull my bowels out my mouth" next time he saw me.

Yup. That's right. But I rolled with it. He's an 'angry funny', after all. I even told him that was funny, questioning how that sort of thing would even work. His reply doesn't bear repeating, but I found it needlessly vulgar and mean-spirited, hardly the sort of thing you'd tell a friend during a pleasant conversation.

So that's where I'm at right now. This guy is a close friend, but he's an asshole. Do I keep hanging out with this guy and run the risk of having him say something like that again, or do I lose a friend. It's something I've been thinking about and figured I'd put into words. Maybe it'll help me sort through it. It's not the sort of thing that makes compelling reading, I suppose, but it's helpful for me. If you did read through it, hope you liked it, hope I didn't sound whiny (or at least, too whiny).