So... 2009, huh?

Kind of a 'blah' year. Uneventful really. Not that I'm averse to things being uneventful -- better that than horribly, gut-wrenchingly, painful. But still, not really much of a year. Kind of like 1999, which was equally uneventful (if not more pleasant in some ways).

Thing that strikes me about 2009 is how fast it flew by. Seems like the other day it was October. And before that, spring. I didn't accomplish as much as I'd have liked to this year. Wrote a little, read a little. Saw some things I wanted to, did some things I'd been meaning to get around to. It wasn't a great year for me personally. I hit some pretty low ebbs. Felt awfully lonely at times. That might've contributed to the way the year felt, especially how fast things went by from the summer-on. Things got pretty crummy around June, and from there I got the swine flu, then my mood took a hit again, then I got the H1N1, and now my mood's not so great...

I did come to a few conclusions this past year. For one, I think I'm officially over Journey. Pop culture's killed "Don't Stop Believing", which is kind of weird since it's not really that great a song? I was already pretty sick of it, and then Glee comes along.

Also I figured out why Alicia Silverstone's body of work never quite clicked with me. Turns out she's just not a very good actress. Not sure how this occurred to me. I might've been thinking about Miss Match. Remember that show? I was a cute enough premise, but it didn't really do it for me. Turns out it was probably the person playing the title character that futzed the whole thing up. But I digress.

So, I suppose here's a tip of my hat to 2009. Here's hoping 2010 is a little brighter though. Or barring that, 2011.

Updates?

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, but things've been a little busy. I've been getting some good stuff accomplished though (even if there's still a list of things I've yet to get to) so it's good. All the same, I've been feeling kind of unfulfilled. I usually get this way around the holidays, so it's probably just all that.

Hoping I have something eventful happen worth sharing, or at least that time stops speeding by and I remember when a week's passed so I can update on time. Man alive, 2009 went by fast. If I didn't know for sure I was around for it, I'd swear there wasn't a summer this year.

Made-Up Words (and Other Randomly Useless Thoughts)

Made-up words I don't mind (even if they're describing something I have no interest in or if it's kind of gross):

Blog
Bacne
Frolf

Made-up words that get on my nerves:

Tween
Cankles
Vlog
Shizzle
Videographer
Asshat

That's all that comes to mind at the moment. I think I'll reiterate my distaste for the word "tween" though. I mean, sure "pre-teen" is kind of lame, but what's wrong with calling a kid a "kid"?

...Sorry about this, but this is the kind of junk that's been circling around my head this weekend. I blame the flu. And that Swiss Chalet commercial with the dad who takes his seemingly estranged daughter out to dinner. I mean, what's going on there? Have they not seen each other for a while, because they seem awfully casual about it if that's the case. But then, you have the mild discomfort exhibited by the daughter, which would imply she hasn't seen him in a while, along with him referring to something he used to do when she was a kid -- the cranberry sauce on the nose -- another sign they've been apart. It's a vexing commercial. Granted, I may be trying to read into it too much, but then, wasn't the point of it to get me interested in the food and not the backstory of the fictional father and daughter?

Yup. That's the junk circling around my head this weekend. Charming, hm?

 

I'm Not Dead...

I've just had to spend the last week in bed because of the H1N1 virus getting the better of me. And by better I mean making me sweat while I'm freezing cold and get such splitting headaches that if hurts to much to think to keep my eyes open.

Better now though. My temperature's down, not coughing up phlegm, and the only headaches I've gotten in the last little while can easily be attributed to the sedentary state of my brain after lying in bed watching NCIS and Reba reruns for a solid five-six days. I'm just kidding. I never watched Reba, and I only sat through NCIS because Charles Durning was guest starring in the episode and the man does good work.

But no, not dead. Slightly bowling ball-ish, but not dead. And sorry there wasn't an image to accompany this. I found an image of a skull inside a bowling ball that would've gone perfectly with the whole "bowling ball-ish" thing, but as an image alone, it's confusingly oblique at best.

Speaking of confusing, I'm surprised I got the H1N1 after my noted debacle with the swine flu from earlier in the year. I didn't think you could get the same flu twice in a year... I figured it was like how a husband and wife can't be tried for the same crime -- you know, you don't have to worry about it. Gah. My brain hurts. Gonna go.

Thoughts at the Moment...

• The pilot episode of "V" was pretty good, but it might've been better as a mini-series or movie rather than a series with a five-year plan.

• Hammacher Schlemmer makes a nice catalogue.

• The Starbucks instant coffee is actually very good, especially for those of us who like coffee but are lazy.

• The Will Ferrell movie "Stranger than Fiction" was pretty good, and yet I have no strong desire to see it a second time.

• I think I prefer the Nestle brand water to other kinds of water, except possibly Evian, but even then it's twice the cost of Nestle, so there you go.

• I think I read too many comics. If I were a smarter man I'd stop reading so many of a monthly basis and start buying the collected editions. They're cheaper, take up less space, fit nicely on a bookshelf, and give you a whole story. Granted you have to wait at least two months after the story finishes to finally get to read it and there's a good handful of books that actually read better as single issues, but if I were a smarter man I'd make the switch for most of the books I read.

• I don't read like Pizza Pizza pizza. Specifically their pizzas with tomatoes, green olives, and black olives. Something about them... not that great. Their cheese and regular veggie pizzas are great though. But their olives taste funny.

• Heath Ledger's Joker was pretty good. Not that I want to see that become the standard of all other media versions of the character, but you could do worse borrowing some aspects of that take.

• Sometimes it hard coming up with good fodder for blog postings, so writing down a lot of random junk gets the job done on occasion.

• The other day I couldn't remember if I'd told a friend about something or dreamt I'd told him it. Or whether or not I'd actually done the thing I told my friend about. I now I can't remember what it was I may or may not have told my friend I may or may not have done. Ah well, I suppose.

Here's Something Pretty Neat

Here's my all-time favorite Looney Tunes cartoon, "Scaredy Cat". It's a great Chuck Jones cartoon and really, surprisingly messed up for a cartoon made sixty years ago. There's some really twisted stuff in there, and -- if you know your Looney Tunes -- an absolutely perfect ending.

Enjoy!

Thoughts on a Saturday Morning

I was up early this past Saturday and Sunday and I noticed two things while checking out cartoons both mornings.

1) Sunday mornings have better programming than Saturdays these days. Not that the Saturday morning really matters all that much these days when you have 24 hour cartoon networks and other specialty channels offering similar programming, but when did this all happen? Not only that, but only ABC and CBS air Saturday morning programming anymore, and even then it's either stuff aimed at the coveted 3 to 5 year old demographic or live action Disney Channel pap. What happened to FOX Kids (see above) or ABC's One Saturday Morning or NBC's live action bad sitcoms? X-Men and Spider-Man and Batman shouldn't be on Sundays. They should be on Saturdays, followed by Three Stooges reruns. And I'd like to think the fact I'm only half serious makes this more palatable than the other crackpots in their mid-twenties who waste time griping about Saturday morning cartoons.

2) I saw a Barbie commercial that featured Aqua's Barbie Girl song. As someone who remembers how Mattel tried suing Aqua over it, that is hilarious. I'd like to think there's someone at Mattel who can appreciate the irony that they're forking over cash to Aqua after all that business.

Declarative George Sez...

Y'know... I Don't Really Care for "Glee"

It's funny -- I meant to write about this a little while ago after watching the first and second episodes of "Glee", but I guess I couldn't muster the enthusiasm to get around to it. It's not surprising, I suppose. I mean, It's not like I thought "Glee", the "little show that could" du jour, was an awful show. For one thing, it has all the ingredients of a show that I'd enjoy: Musical numbers, a good cast, teenagers played by people that look like teenagers, quirky dialogue, the confidence to make it's characters look stupid and people rip on them for it, etc. And yet... it all feels very patchwork. Like it's trying too hard. It feels like the Disney Channel version of something that's actually entertaining.

Worst of all, the musical numbers aren't all that fun. Sure some of the songs are catchy and well-orchestrated, but instead of totally embracing what they're doing it all feels too safe, like they're trying not to offend their target demographic. The only thing worse than something that's just plain bad is something that's frustratingly close to being good. I wouldn't say "Glee" is necessarily just shy of being a good series (or downright awful for that matter), but it's certainly frustrating how it has all of the components of a good show but is content to proceed in mediocrity.

Things I Find Terribly Vexing This Month, Vol.1

I'd completely forgotten about this until I heard a mention of Mr. Coffee on an episode of Seinfeld a a minute ago (the episode where Jerry dates the Miss America pageant contestant for anyone curious). There was a comic book that came out about the time the first Spider-Man film was released that, not surprisingly, featured a return of the Green Goblin. Following a heated battle between Spidey and the Goblin, the two were so winded that they had to rest against a wall; it was during this downtime that the Goblin told Spider-Man that before settling on the "Green Goblin" he'd briefly considered calling himself "Mr. Coffee", making the two laugh. But only the two of them. I thought it was a pretty lame joke, but at least I get why the characters would laugh.

So, seven years later I'm in a supermarket and I find a copy of this... how can I put this... "deluxe edition" comic book that had a few pages of new material, some remastered old issues from the 1960s all dolled up with modern coloring techniques, a couple of handbook profiles, and a history of the Green Goblin done with some text and images from older issues. Since I was catching the bus home and had a good half hour to kill, I started reading some of that back-matter, specifically the skippable the "Green Goblin Saga" history thing. (Just so we're clear, it's just the history thing that's pretty skippable. Not the handbook profiles -- I get a real kick of those. The "Saga" stuff leaves me cold.) But anyway, I'm reading this thing and it gets to the origin of the Green Goblin and mentions that Norman Osborn considered Mr. Coffee as a name before going with Green Goblin.

Now I'm normally big on obscure references and callbacks and archaic trivia and all that, but really now -- "Mr. Coffee" is canon? A lame joke is now an arguably key component of the Green Goblin's history?

Just so we're clear, I'm not angered or anything by how "Mr. Coffee" has seemingly become such an important part of the Green Goblin's back story. It might read that I'm full of rage, but I assure you I'm, if anything, relaxed to the point of distraction here (I've had to proofread this post several times already just to be sure it makes sense). Still, I find this terribly vexing. I mean, really -- Mr. Coffee? Yeesch.

 

More Songs I Can't Stand!

I'm so, so, so very sorry to foist more melodic abominations upon you dear reader, but there's something strangely cathartic about realizing the awful music you were bombarded with as a kid is actually awful. I mean, sure you might've listened to it and acted like all was well, but the whole time you were thinking this is garbage. It's nice to get that kind of thing out there.

Not that I expect anyone else to really care about what kind of music I dislike, but hey, isn't the point of a blog to put your pointless opinion out there for an uninterested world to see? And even if you could care less about what I've got to say, at least you get some awful music out it, right?

The Problem with People Who Speak Their Minds...

The only problem with people who speak their minds is unless they have a whole lot going on up there, most of what they say is probably going to be pretty awful.

And with that I direct you Megan Fox's latest bit of delightful incoherence where she equates Transformers director Michael Bay to Hitler. And then, possibly even more embarrassingly, a pre-pubescent thirteen year-old boy:

"He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it’s endearing to watch him. He’s vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he’s a tyrant. Shia and I almost die when we make a Transformers movie."

Oh Megan Fox. You never fail to disappoint, I'll give you that.

I also freely cop to the fact that in spite of that bizarre soundbite I'm not above ogling a picture of Ms. Fox in varying states of undress while appearing to make-out with herself. Not that being willing to admit this makes it any better, I suppose.

Via Entertainment Weekly (which has a whole lot of Megan Fox hilarity besides this latest bit).

Three Songs I Can't Stand

Hope I don't offend anyone, but here are three songs that make me want to bash my head into a wall. For what it's worth, a few of my jackass friends really enjoy Depeche Mode. Not sure about their opinions on the other two though. Either way I'd rather eat a light bulb than listen to them another time.

And with that, enjoy!




Pretty bad, huh?

My Starbucks and iTunes D'oh

I was in Chicago the other day and grabbed a couple of those Starbucks iTunes song redemption cards at a Starbucks in a Target. Which is pretty wild. I wish there were more Starbucks in places like that. Not that we have Targets in Canada, but most of them are in Chapters (Canada's equivalent to Borders and Barnes and Noble) with a handful of separate locations besides. And really, you can never have enough Starbucks. There's the tops.

But anyway, I tried to redeem one of the codes and it didn't work since it was designed for the US iTunes and not the Canadian one (yeah, there's a difference, and don't think I'm not cheesed off by that). It's for Yusuf, the artist known as Cat Stevens' "Welcome Home". The codes are 9W3NAXLFPYWK and KWYRYYW6AFAJ. If you use them, just let me know so I can check them off.

Chicago was nice, by the way. Did a bit of a driving tour of the downtown, went by Target for some cheap tube socks, Cherry Coke Zero and Pretzels, and caught "(500) Days of Summer" at an AMC by the theater. It was a nice little trip.

What the - - ?

Now, I'm not an English professor, and on occasion I've even been known to mispronounce easy to say words like "crayon" and "thermometer", but can someone explain what this woman is trying to say. I heard a few familiar words there, but the order in which they're spoken vexes me.



Vexing. Definitely vexing.

Cripes.

I think I have the swine flu. Which stinks. Not that it's that big a deal, I mean, it's just a new version of the flu that's considered risky because most folks immune systems aren't familiar with it, but darn if it doesn't sting all the same. Especially the name. I haven't told my friends about my suspicion yet because I'm not sure I want to give them an invitation to make pig jokes about me. I didn't even think I had it until I saw a list of symptoms at the local drug store -- until that point I'd figured my coughing was related to how dehydrated and sore my throat got at my grandmother's funeral (it was ridiculously hot and humid that day, and the heavy suit, a lack of air conditioning, and a 90 minute funeral service did a number on me), and that my stuffy nose was just my allergies acting up (as is the norm this time of year anyway). Still, I suppose I have been fatigued lately and have had a decrease in my usual appetite.

Hopefully it'll pass soon, especially since I've realized I might have it. It's been about a week and a half now since I've been coughing and all that, which is usually the amount of time a mild case lasts. Still, the fact I might have it really stinks. It's a real kick in the head.

My Almost Quandary (of Sorts)

So, Ally McBeal is coming to DVD later this year and Fox, for some reason but arguably a welcome one, is releasing the first season and the complete series at the same time. Back in the day I watched Ally McBeal fervently -- it was probably the first "grown-up" series I really enjoyed and followed regularly. At least the first dramatic one, since I did, curiously, watch Murphy Brown for a good three to four pre-puberty years, and that was a pretty grown up show. Granted Ally McBeal wasn't a straight up drama, but it was more serious than most of the shows I'd been following to that point in my life. And it was pretty enjoyable. For the first two or three years at least. Then it got kind of... not good. But the first few years were good enough to buy the show 'viewer credit' with me, and I stuck through to the end with it.

And so my quandary lies with the DVD releases. I'm looking forward to revisiting the show, but, well, I'm concerned how it'll hold up. I have fond memories of the show and if it hasn't aged well, that'd be pretty disappointing. I'd really hate to find out it's as lame as my friends thought it was went I was watching it new, but since my initial viewership was part genuine enjoyment and part 'watching a prime time drama for the first time, all adult and such (and on a school night, no less!)', I have a feeling it might not hold up. I probably wouldn't even have these fears if I hadn't caught part of a first season episode when I went to Mexico a few years back (specifically the one where Ally humiliated a guy by making him walk around with pants around his ankles, and yes, it's a good as it sounds...), and part of me would rather leave it be as a show I enjoyed from my teen years than find out it stinks.

On the other hand, Peter McNicol's John Cage was the man, so that might be enough to make me buy the bloody thing, quality be damned. I mean, say what you will about the show, but John Cage was really awesome.

My grandmother, Eleanor "Nana" Morrow passed away on the weekend. She hadn't been doing well for the past year and a half, a strange bit of immobilizing back pain leading to hospitalization and then to a nursing home. Last week she took a turn for the worse -- we weren't sure if it was due to an infection or if she had a stroke, but she couldn't move or speak very well, if at all. She went back to the hospital last Monday, briefly though, since the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her, and again on Thursday.

I saw her on Friday night for a good couple of hours. She still couldn't move or communicate, but when my brother took her hand she seemed to react facially and her grip tightened. She died the following morning. It still hasn't really sunk in, like I know she's gone, but I don't really think of her like that, like she's still around. I've been busy doing stuff to help out my dad, like rewriting his two page obituary into something that'll fit into the average obit space in our local paper, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough. I don't know. It's a weird feeling.

Anyway, I'll try to post something non-death related as soon as I come up with something. Little hard, is all though.

Cripes.

Today Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died. I was a generation too late for either to have the kind of impact they had on other folks, but it's still pretty shocking stuff. Besides being pretty big pop-cultural touchstones, they're both about the same ages as my parents, which freaks me out a little bit. I mean, neither was that old and they're gone. My brother Kerr, who's a bit of a Michael Jackson music enthusiast, seems pretty let down by the whole thing.

Cripes. Heck of a thing, huh.

Here's Where I Talk About Nachos

I'm not dumb. Even with the tomato and lettuce and all that nachos can't be that great for you. But I do enjoy a good plate of nachos. I suppose I could make them at home, but I'm a lazy eater; when I'm hungry I'm all business, no frills, from the fridge to my plate. Getting from hunger to food with the shortest distance and all that. Not that I short-change meals or anything, but I eat as I'm cooking, usually going from one bit of food to the next. That sounds pretty bad, but it works. I start with rice or vegetables and prepare the more complicated course while I'm having that. So I usually have nachos at restaurants. But even then, that's infrequent, because, like I said I'm all business when it comes to meals.

When I go to a restaurant it's for something substantial. Not nachos which I'd probably have too much of and fill up on them, throwing the whole meal off. That said, there are times when I go to a restaurant specifically for nachos -- there's a great place a few minutes from home that has a great nacho platter that I enjoy every now and then. I still wish I could have nachos more often, but I guess if I had it with greater frequency it'd lose the punch when I do have them, and I'd probably feel more guilt about all that cheese and such.

And that's me talking about nachos. Don't worry, I promise the next post will be slightly more interesting. Unless you're a nacho enthusiast, in which case this must've been something else for you, huh.

Fun With Youtube VIII

Here we go with the latest batch of interesting clips I've come across on Youtube, as always in lieu of actual content or insightful commentary. Enjoy.

(A warning for the easily offended out there -- some of the clips contain "language" that may shock the young and stun the elderly. I'm not going to say which ones though. Think of it as a game or something, I suppose. Although I probably could've pointed them out more clearly. But this whole post is designed to give me less work, so there you go. But just so I don't come across totally shiftless, you can probably tell which ones I'm talking about from their titles. I guess that kind of saves face for me.)

This Just In: Captain America: Not Dead.

Which is kind of lame, especially since his "death" (and I say that with the possibility that it'll turn out he never died in the first place) gave the comic title a real shot in the arm and drew it a lot of outside attention. Heck, Stephen Colbert still has the shield he was given as per Cap's will hanging on the wall of his set.

Not that I ever expected them to keep Captain America dead for any great length of time, but bringing him back barely two years after they killed him off in the first place is... well, it's kind of a joke on how comic book characters keep coming back to life and is going to cheese off a lot of folks who were drawn in because of his death and the direction the book took, and folks like me who kind of like Bucky as Captain America.

Plus wouldn't something other than the totally expected "surprise announcement" have been fun? Seems like all of the build-up and hub-bub called for it. I wonder what this'll do to the value of the issue he died in. Not that I'm that kind of person, but I paid 15 bucks for the bloody thing.

News care of the New York Daily News.

Y'know What's Funny?

I think I really enjoy Patrick Stewart in a way that has nothing to do with Star Trek. It's not that I've never seen an episode of it or that I didn't enjoy the show I suppose, but I don't think any of my fondness for the man has anything to do with that. Curiously I'm probably more indifferent than anything when it comes Star Trek (or rather Star Trek: The Next Generation -- figured I ought to be clear on that one since there's a half dozen different 'Treks out there). I say curiously since I can usually get into stuff like that with all of the mythology and continuity and all that, but when I see it's on TV I try to see what's going on, but I usually wind up flipping the channel within minutes. Might have something to do with the whole "reset button" they hit at the end of every show preventing change and development, might have something to do with the fact I already saw most of the episodes back when I was 10. Or alternately, maybe it just seems like I've seen every show.

Anyway, what was my point before I started ripping on Star Trek: The Next Generation? Yeah, so I caught a rerun of Extras the other day, and it was the episode with Patrick Stewart and the bit where he describes the script he'd written. Check out the clip to see what I'm talking about -- it was probably my favorite bit of the whole run of the show. Besides that, the man was the perfect Professor X (and he reprised the role in several X-Men video games, which is pretty neat too), and he's doing good work on American Dad, even if I enjoyed his guest shot on Family Guy with the Star Trek cast more than anything I've seen him do on that show. But probably better than either of those was his guest shot on the Simpsons back in the day, where he played the Stonecutters Number One. Just thinking of him saying stuff like "Let's all get drunk and play ping pong", "Settle down, Moe", and "The "paddling of the swollen ass"... with paddles", makes me chuckle.


So yeah, the man's likability with me curiously has nothing to do with the career defining role that put him on the map, but rather his other best know genre role and a series of animated voice-overs that've played off his distinguished nature and voice.

Hm. When I realized this would make adequate fodder for a blog post I guess I figured I'd have more to say about that, or at least that the little I would have to say would be slightly more interesting. At least the clips were funny, I guess.

Well This is a Kick in the Head

First, I'd like to apologize for all of the nerd-heavy posts lately. On one hand I try to limit it to stuff that I'd hope folks might find interesting even if they're comic related. On the other it's easier writing about colorful funny book pamphlets than, you know, actually relevant stuff, so there you go.

That said, I read today that Dwayne McDuffie's been fired off the Justice League comic for discussing the editorial side of writing that book, specifically mandated tie-ins to other stories, characters being off-limits, writing a scene where a deceased character is mourned in a cemetary and then finding out they decided they weren't really dead after all (leaving the background tombstones curiously out of place), that kind of stuff.

But even being hamstrung as he was, I thought the book was doing pretty good. Not great, but there was still enough stuff in every issue to make it an entertaining read. And of course, I found out about this after finishing the latest issue, musing over the better bits as I checked out a few of my usual online haunts.

This is a real kick in the head. Really stinks.

The Adding Random Pictures to Songs from the 1980s to Make Them Look Profound and Kind of Sad Post, Vol. 1

"Time After Time"
by Cyndi Lauper and Rob Hyman

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you


Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new
Flash back warm night, almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after sometime you pictured me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're callin' to me
I can't hear what you've said
Then you said, "Go slow, I fall behind"
The second hand unwinds


If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time


After my picture fades
And darkness has turned to grey
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time


If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time


You said, "Go slow, I fall behind"
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time


Time after time

My "Best Of", Vol. 1

So I was reading a few "best of" lists, and seeing a few things I've quite enjoyed over the years pop up got me thinking about a few of my own personal "best ofs". So, assuming my tastes are as valued by an anonymous reader as they are by myself, here's a list of comic books that were I stranded on the deserted island and not driven to madness through a lack of nourishment and exposure to the sun, I'd be content re-reading until being rescued at some later date.

Deadpool (volume three) #1-25, by Joe Kelly, Ed McGuinness, Pete Woods, Walter McDaniel, and others

I'm thrilled that Marvel Comics has finally gotten around to collecting this run, since it's pretty much the gold standard of comic book serialized storytelling for me. Not only did writer Joe Kelly and artists Ed McGuinness, Pete Woods, and Walter McDaniel define Deadpool so effectively that the character has remained a headlining title character since this series began back in late 1996, but they told a story that rivals the best of TV's long-form storytelling back before it was the norm for TV or comics. And the best thing is they did without the slightest hint that it was the plan all along, or without compromising Deadpool's character, a feat all the more impressive when you realize the story ended with Deadpool saving the world from an other-worldly "menace" (curious what I mean, then read the books). The upswing in Deadpool's popularity thanks to his well-received current series and appearance in the Wolverine film has given Marvel a perfect opportunity to get around to reprinting the entire run (preferably in their popular omnibus format), especially since the last collection ended just shy of the acclaimed and as-yet unprinted eleventh issue that "inserted" Deadpool into an old issue of Spider-Man. Either way, it's great that folks are checking out these old issues through the reprints or original issues, since it's worthy of the attention.

X-Force (volume one) #116-129, by Peter Milligan, Mike Allred, and others

I've written about the Milligan-Allred X-Force before so sorry if I'm repeating myself, but these issues are so subversively brilliant that I can say enough good things about them. Sold as a media satire told through superheroes with Peter Milligan's razor-sharp wit and the old-school style of Mike Allred, the brilliance of this run for me was how strongly I felt toward the characters by the final issue. As their layers were peeled back during the highly enjoyable run, the fact that the characters that seemed shallow and self-involved were as fully realized as any character I've ever seen elevated the series to a special place, and made me kick myself for not following the run more regularly as it was first coming out (I stopped four issues in, only coming back to the series after seeing the cast profiled in Marvel's Handbook series). The run continued for an additional twenty-five issues as X-Statix, but these first fourteen are the cream of the crop for me (admittedly because of the death of one of the leads at the end of this series, a character whose absence was so keenly felt that the first year of X-Statix devoted two issues to the character, as though to admit the creative team was as aware of the void as the readership was).

Well, that's the first part of my "Best Of". I'll add the rest of my ramblings soon.

Declarative Jack Sez...

Y'know What I've Noticed...

So there's this Archie Comics character Cheryl Blossom. You might not have heard of her since she's a relatively recent addition to the cast (from the early 1980s which is a good chunk of time ago, but about 40 years after most of the other characters debuted), but she's headlined her own title and appeared frequently in new stories and through reprints when she hasn't shown up for a while.

Thing is, Cheryl's 'character' is that... how can I put this... she's the promiscuous one. As much as she can be in an Archie Comic, that is. So while they can't even really imply she's... how can I put this... 'winding the crank on Archie's jalopy', she still parades around in skimpy clothing with plenty of skin and cleavage on display. Which is all well and good. I mean, if you're a kid that kind of stuff drives you wild.

So today while reading an article on pointless Archie Comics characters, I stumbled on a link to Cheryl's first appearance, and while it's pretty tame by most standards, by Archie standards it's awfully risqué stuff (as I'm sure you've noticed by the out of context 'topless beach' and 'sneaky beer drinking' bits sprinkled throughout this posting).

So reading it, I've noticed that it's not hard to see why it's been seldom (if ever) been reprinted, what with the underaged drinking and topless seventeen year-old. Kind of makes me wonder if Dan DeCarlo was responsible for those stories where Veronica lost her top while swimming, or the one where the Riverdale High heater was on the fritz and all of the kids stripped down to their underwear to deal with the heat. Not to necessarily say they were bad stories,
but pretty much the whole point was to show as much teenaged cartoon skin as possible, which, ah... I have mixed feelings about.

And by mixed feelings I don't mean to say that I find naked Archie characters titillating or anything, just that... well, you know, I mean... if you were on a beach and a girl took her top off... um, that... ah... I think I'm going to stop here.

I'm not a weirdo.

The Ending to Every 1980's Movie in Four Minutes (with bonus footnotes)

80's Ending
It's funny, because I think I might actually have greater awareness of the clichés demonstrated in this clip because of videos like this one that rip on these clichés.* Not that I haven't seen my fair share of 80s teen comedies and the like ("Revenge of the Nerds", "Just One of the Guys"... ah... when did "If Looks Could Kill" come out?)**, but I was too young to see these movies when they were coming out, and by the time I was a teenager all I could see was the stuff they lampoon here.*** Now I'm actually a little scared at the thought that in ten years someone will dissect "American Pie", "Never Been Kissed", and "She's All That" and all of the teen comedies that came out in my formative years and point out how ridiculous they were, even if they tried to jump the gun on that sort of thing with that "(Fill in the Blank) Movie" spoof they did about a decade ago (which would probably be included in the dissection anyway).****

* Like South Park's "Asspen", which introduced me to the 'regular guy competing against arrogant jock and winning the heart of the dorky-but-hot-girl'.
** Just remembered "Say Anything" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", but they weren't that bad.
*** Being a teenager in the savvy and cynical late-90s, early-00s, as I was.
**** This film being a reflection of my generation's savviness and cynicism toward the genre, because, really we all knew how lousy these movies were as they were coming out but went to see them anyway.

At the Moment...

I'm a too stuffed up at the moment to form much of a coherent thought for an update (my sinuses being as sensitive as they are).

Still, thought I'd stop by to say that I caught "Wolverine" on the weekend and thought it was pretty decent. Not a great film, but pretty enjoyable and fun all the same. Wish Deadpool was a little truer to the comics (at least during his appearance later in the film -- Ryan Reynolds nailed the part during the first bit), but it's a good enough set up for a spin-off film. Not really getting all of the bad press and feedback the movie's been getting, but to each their own I suppose. I'd recommend it.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little too bowling ball-ish to say much else, so I'm going to sign off. See you.

Random/Useless Thoughts of the Moment

What's the appeal of Saved by the Bell? It wasn't a very good show, and yet it's been running continuously since it first aired twenty years ago. I like to think I'm a fairly intelligent person with an eye for quality television, and yet, if it's on, I'll watch it, even though I know it's not that great. Even when it was still airing new episodes, I knew it wasn't that great. I remember thinking as a ten year old that it "really went downhill once Screech's voice changed". It always bugged me too how every non-main cast member student was some sort of stereotype, and how all of the classes seemed to be held in that one room across the hall from Mr. Belding's office, and how 75% of all classes were taught by Mr. Tuttle or Mr. Dewey. And still, God help me, if I come across an episode, odds are I'll stay with it at least until the commercial break. Maybe they have some kind of hypnotic thing going on, like that episode where Zack put a hidden message in a song to get Bayside's female student body to fall for him during that Valentine's Day, heart-swapping thing.

Now I don't know what's worse. That I admitted to watching Saved by the Bell*, or that I made reference to an episode.

*I caution to add that that's infrequently, if ever. Just so we're clear.

Declarative George Sez...

Things I Kind of Wish Were Still Around: Volume Three: Addendum

Here're a few Stella shorts from the live stage show the Stella trio used to perform back in the day. I caution that the material in all of the shorts might not be exactly... family friendly, but they're funny as all get out.

(By the way, the first short, "Audition", is probably my favorite of the lot, and closest to the "Stella" TV show.)

Things I Kind of Wish Were Still Around: Volume Three

Stella was one of those shows that was under (and badly) promoted and died before it had a chance to catch on. Which is a real shame, since it could've found a "Flight of the Conchords"-esque following if it had been given half a chance. A simple enough premise -- and curiously not unlike Conchords -- a trio of idiots living in New York and their various, outlandish misadventures. More 'out-there' than Conchords, it's easy to see why it didn't catch on. I have a friend who enjoyed Conchords and eagerly watched every new episode, but he couldn't handle more than half an episode of Stella. Thing is though, once you get past the uneven pilot episode, Stella gets really great. In fact I still eagerly bring out the DVD collection of the show at least once a year to re-watch (and it's worth noting here that if you are interested in checking out this 2006 DVD release that you're in for a bit of work there -- it was hard enough to find when it was new, and even then I think I had it special ordered).

The best episode of the ten episode run was probably "Meeting Girls", which has the three leads that make up comedy trio Stella, Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and David Wain, finding romance in a New York redneck bar after winning the respect of the bar's patrons with a Coyote Ugly style dance on the bar counter. I'm reluctant to go into greater deal to avoid revealing too much of the episode (and because my description sounds kind of lame and I'd hate to put anyone off from wanting to watch the show).

It's hard to write about Stella in such a way that'll draw people into the show, because it really is one of those things you have to see for yourself. If you have a good sense of humor, you'll probably enjoy the show. It was really cut off at the knees and given enough time could have found an audience, especially as the Apatow-style of comedy (which wasn't so far off from Stella) started to become popular a short time after the end of the show (in fact David Wain, one of the Stella trio and director of several episodes of the show, is probably better known now for his successful film "Role Models").

If you want to check out episodes of Stella you can find them at the Comedy Central page for the show (or the Comedy Network page for the show, if you're Canadian). Check it out. It's an all right show that I wish was still around.

Saturday Morning Flashback Fun With Youtube

Am I the Only Person a Little Irked By This?

Have you seen this, have you heard about this? Apparently "Slumdog Millionaire" star Freida Pinto is being considered as the next Bond-girl in the upcoming 23rd James Bond film. Now it might just be me, and stop me if I've said this before, but is it so difficult to find an actress to play a Bond-girl opposite Daniel Craig who doesn't look like she's young enough to be his daughter? Now I'm not saying that Daniel Craig is an old guy or anything, and at age 40 he's pretty much as old as the other Bonds in their prime, but look at him:

The guy is craggy, man. And make no mistake, it works for the character. But when you're casting women in their early twenties, it really makes him look old and them look young. And personally, yeah, it's a little creepy for me. To say nothing of the fact that guys dating women nearly years younger than them in real life has never really sat well with me anyway.

It worked in "Casino Royale" because they had the time to build up the Bond relationship with Eva Green's Vesper Lynd to the point where I bought the fact that they might find some romance with each other, but that didn't stop me from making the lame joke about James Bond and his daughter (and Craig, twelve years older than Green, did look like her old man). Olga Kurylenko, who's only a year older than Green actually, looked more age-appropriate in "Quantum of Solace", but you still had the bit about Bond bagging Gemma Arterton's Agent Fields. And since Craig actually is old enough to be Arterton's father, well that... yeah, it didn't sit 100% with me.

Now as something of a Bond afficionado (I suppose beginning with 1991's James Bond Jr., I'm somewhat ashamed to admit), I'm aware this sort of thing is par for the course with the Bond films. In fact Roger Moore (who I'm not the least ashamed to admit was always my favorite James Bond), decided to step down after realizing he was older than the mother of his View to a Kill Bond-girl (I have mixed feelings about admitting "View to a Kill" being the first Bond film I saw, what with the pluses of Christopher Walken and Grace Jones). But still. Doesn't sit well with me. Just figured I ought to be the first guy to say that, even if everyone else seems fine with it.

Post-Script: I assured you that when I described Daniel Craig's appearance as "craggy", I was in no way attempting a joke or anything. I want to make it perfectly clear, dear reader, that I am not that lame. I just went with "craggy" because, at the time, it sounded better than "grizzled". I suppose it still does, which explains why I opted to add this after a read-through instead of simply changing it.

Oh, by the way, "Slumdog Millionaire" -- pretty good film. I see why it won the Oscar.

Right then.

My Update

Caution: The following post was written while under the effect of alledgly "non-drowsy" allergy medication and may be subject to randomness, a rambling tone, and curious uses of the word "bowling ball".

I haven't had a chance to check in in a little bit, the primary reason being that I'm visiting my mom in BC and find myself depending on a ten year old Compaq Presario for internet access. The bright side is that I have the perspective that using a computer that would have seemed cutting edge when I was in high school really isn't all that great, and that, really, my computer back in Hamilton, for all it's problems, really isn't too bad. It can actually play videos, for one thing.

The other reason why I haven't been around lately is I've found myself unable to think clearly without regular doses of Sinutab and aspirin, and even then I'm still feeling pretty bowling bowl-ish. No idea why this is the case -- I don't experience sinus headaches when I get colds, but I've been getting those "cold sweats" and general feelings of disorientation for a few days now. I suspected it might have to do with the dust that collected in my old bedroom (which would be the only thing that could affect my allergies since it's been raining since I got here), but as it is, I'm at a loss and feeling pretty out of it.

The trip has been worth it though, since it's been nice seeing my mom and all my stuff, and I've been enjoying Teletoon Retro, which I still don't get back in Hamilton. It's been great fun watching all the Looney Tunes, Rocky and Bullwinkle, and other programs. I've even caught a few episodes of Superfriends, but gosh, is it ever a messed up show. The first episode had Superman fall through a black hole and travel back in time to Krypton before it exploded (now I'm no scientist, but even I know they don't work that way), and through the use of some deus ex machina, prevent Krypton's destruction. When he goes back through the black hole and into the present he learns that because he was never on earth the Legion of Doom successfully took over the world. So naturally, instead of doing something as simple as sending his own younger self to Earth, Superman removes his device and lets Krypton blow up. Which is really messed up, if you think about it. And I figure since Superman didn't bother thinking about it, one of us may as well.

The last segment in the episode which had Aquaman and Black Vulcan stop the Titanic (which, naturally, sprung to life and began attacking people), by sending into an iceberg in the same area it originally crashed was pretty messed up too, but I can't decide if it was more messed up because of the whole 'real-world' aspect. Either way, the guys who wrote for that show were all kinds of sick, man.

Anyway, I'll try to check in soon. Bye for now, then.

My (Almost) Frustration

Last Friday I decided to get a copy of the first Scott Pilgrim book (Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life), having noticed some of the press surrounding the currently-filming, Edgar Wright-helmed production currently being shot in Toronto. And it was really terrifically well-done -- I burned through it in a few days. A really solid mix of video game surrealism and superbly honest and fully-realized characters.

On Thursday I got the second volume, which I finished today. Realizing how far along I was with the second volume (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World), and not wanting to lose any of my reading-momentum, I got volumes three and four yesterday (Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness and Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together). Which was a wise decision because volume three picks up moments after the end of volume two. In fact, I can't even imagine having to read the volumes with the year-long gap folks had to put up with when the volumes were originally released.

That said, I can't help but feel it's a bit of a kick in the head that I've jumped on the Scott Pilgrim bandwagon at this particular moment. The fifth volume, (Scott Pilgrim vs. The Universe), just came out and it'll likely be another year-plus until the sixth (and final) volume is released. And even then, it'll likely be timed to come out with the movie, which, as I've learned today, won't be out until the summer of 2010. And since I've been on a real Scott Pilgrim kick this past week, this is not that good. Still, the books are extremely well done and incredibly entertaining, so it's cool having all that to enjoy. And even if I still have a year to go I still have the fact that my friends have yet to realize how cool the whole thing is, so once they do finally hear about Scott Pilgrim I can act all cool and such because I was aware of it first. Not that I'll be a wiener about it or anything, but it's nice being ahead of the curve.

"Woman Calls 911 After McDonald's Runs Out Of Nuggets"

Have you heard of this? Do you know about this?

Apparently the story doesn't live up to the headline -- I got as far as the first few paragraphs before realizing this -- which is a real shame since it honestly sounds like the best news story of the year. Not only is it utterly ridiculous, but it involves one of my favorite words: McNuggets. I think the world would be a much better place if people said "McNuggets" more. It really is a fun word.

Prior to this, my interesting/anecdotal/stupid news interest was drawn toward a story involving a local florist who was scammed out of $22,000 by "Reverend Benjamin Wallace" of Ghana's Christ the King Cathedral. Apparently the florist was contacted and asked to make 850 gift baskets and wreaths, and, failing to question why a church in Ghana would hire a small Canadian florist to handle this, was majorly ripped off.

""If I come out even - no further ahead, no further behind -- I'm happy with that," said Yeomans.

""And lesson learned.""

I suppose all you can do at times like that is laugh -- you've got to admire taking it in stride and all that. I can't help but be curious why a con-artist is interested in $22,000 worth of gift baskets and wreaths though.