TDSA This Week

Hi there.

Not much to update on TDSA. I had the idea of making a few extra bucks by selling copies of TDSA in the broken-up-to-be-sold-digitally format. As I recall, the five chapters were around 60 pages (at the most), maybe 40 at the least, so if I sell them for 3 bucks or so a piece I'd see something on it. Basically I'm still looking for the cheapest way to get it all out there and both get people to read the bloody thing while seeing a return on it.

Meanwhile I've heard back from a few of the emails I've sent out across the internet to get reviews. At least one fellow has even mentioned the solicitation and upcoming review in an actual posting, which is encouraging. At this point I'm so hungry to get word out there I don't even care if the reviews I do get are negative, so long as they start showing up.

Anyhoo, things are slightly more optimistic than before, but barely if that. But slightly is better than worse, I suppose.

My year... such as it is

In the eight or so months since my last blog post, TDSA was published. That is to say, once I ditched the absolutely dreadful comixpress.com and when with Ka-Blam, TDSA got published. Sure they jacked me on the shipping so my actual profit per copy was probably in the neighborhood of .50 cents a copy, but having my actual, finished book in hand is still a thrill I can hardly believe.

And it's just about all that's keeping me going through this completely demoralizing process of trying to get people to actually read the bloody thing.

I've almost sold out of the first printing. There's maybe ten or so copies left, save the additional ten or so sitting unsold on the shelves of the bookstores willing to carry TDSA. But even with the run sold, or in place to be sold, I only know of two people who've actually read and finished TDSA: my aunt, and my friend, Paul Fairie, who, unlike my other friends and family members, is in the middle of a 300 page thesis, while trying to find the time to write his own novel.

But that happens. Comics aren't my friends or family's thing. In fact a few of my friends have claimed to be practically illiterate to avoid reading. But the thing is, TDSA was two goddamn years of my life. And it's a brisk read by design, not heavy or dense, but light and swiftly paced. And still own mother, father, and brother haven't read more than 50 pages combined.

Of course none of this would bother me if other people were interested. Say, people who actually like to read comics.

I've sent out over 70 review requests. I've heard back from maybe seven people, two of which agreed to review but with the caution their reviews would be a while off; three turning down the request, one because they find writing reviews difficult, one because of their workload, and one because they're burnt out on superheroes and find my artwork amateurish (which it is, I freely admit, but I'll argue to my death that the story, dialogue, and characters hold up); the others... seemed interested, but that was months ago, so who knows.

I have a tracker on my website, letting me know when the page linked to my review copy is accessed. Of the 70+ requests, it's been tapped maybe... 25 times? And even then the two reviews I actually really wanted all along were summarily ignored. Maybe I came off too needy. I am a first time writer, hungry and champing at the bit, after all. But I send a good four requests over a three month period to two of my favorite bloggers asking for their attention. I don't mind saying they're Valerie Gallaher, of Occasional Superheroine and currently Comics Paladin fame, and Tim O'Neill, of When Will the Hurting Stop fame. They're fine bloggers both (I heartily recommend checking out their sites), and I eagerly enjoy their writing, finding their insight and honesty refreshing and thought-provoking.

And I've been ignored by both of them.

As much of a kick in the balls this year has been -- the attempted suicide of a close family member, an abusive step-father whose alcoholism has only fueled his descent into dementia, facing the crushing realities of the recession head-on -- it's the inability to get my friends and family to check my book out and having it be completely bypassed by two writers whose work I have such tremendous respect for that gets me the most.

In spite of all that, I've found a few reasons to get out of bed in the morning. "Avengers" was pretty terrific. I've finally gotten around to watching the complete run of the original "The Inbetweeners", which was hilarious. Subway has a new egg salad sub that's pretty good. And I have my book. I haven't completely given up on finding an audience, and I've learned some things along the way that'll be helpful the next time around. Speaking of which, even if I can count the number of people that've read TDSA on one hand and I'm well aware how much work the first one was, I'd like very much to do a TDSA sequel.

But this whole process has taken it's toll. I think I can honestly say that for the handful of simple pleasures offered and actually having something published with my name on it (even if I was the one bankrolling the whole thing), this was quite possibly the worst year of my life.

About eight or nine years ago I was chatting with a co-worker at the Silver City movie theatre in nearby Ancaster. I don't remember what we were discussing, although I'd wager it was probably movie-related, as most conversations go when you work at a theatre. But I remember the conversation specifically because I asked the co-worker if he was happy. And with a steady job and cute girlfriend, he said he was. Then he asked me the same. I thought about it. And told him I wasn't. I never forgot that. In the years following I waited for the day when I'd be able to answer that question with a yes. And maybe someday I'll be able to.