Declarative George Sez...

Y'know... I Don't Really Care for "Glee"

It's funny -- I meant to write about this a little while ago after watching the first and second episodes of "Glee", but I guess I couldn't muster the enthusiasm to get around to it. It's not surprising, I suppose. I mean, It's not like I thought "Glee", the "little show that could" du jour, was an awful show. For one thing, it has all the ingredients of a show that I'd enjoy: Musical numbers, a good cast, teenagers played by people that look like teenagers, quirky dialogue, the confidence to make it's characters look stupid and people rip on them for it, etc. And yet... it all feels very patchwork. Like it's trying too hard. It feels like the Disney Channel version of something that's actually entertaining.

Worst of all, the musical numbers aren't all that fun. Sure some of the songs are catchy and well-orchestrated, but instead of totally embracing what they're doing it all feels too safe, like they're trying not to offend their target demographic. The only thing worse than something that's just plain bad is something that's frustratingly close to being good. I wouldn't say "Glee" is necessarily just shy of being a good series (or downright awful for that matter), but it's certainly frustrating how it has all of the components of a good show but is content to proceed in mediocrity.

Things I Find Terribly Vexing This Month, Vol.1

I'd completely forgotten about this until I heard a mention of Mr. Coffee on an episode of Seinfeld a a minute ago (the episode where Jerry dates the Miss America pageant contestant for anyone curious). There was a comic book that came out about the time the first Spider-Man film was released that, not surprisingly, featured a return of the Green Goblin. Following a heated battle between Spidey and the Goblin, the two were so winded that they had to rest against a wall; it was during this downtime that the Goblin told Spider-Man that before settling on the "Green Goblin" he'd briefly considered calling himself "Mr. Coffee", making the two laugh. But only the two of them. I thought it was a pretty lame joke, but at least I get why the characters would laugh.

So, seven years later I'm in a supermarket and I find a copy of this... how can I put this... "deluxe edition" comic book that had a few pages of new material, some remastered old issues from the 1960s all dolled up with modern coloring techniques, a couple of handbook profiles, and a history of the Green Goblin done with some text and images from older issues. Since I was catching the bus home and had a good half hour to kill, I started reading some of that back-matter, specifically the skippable the "Green Goblin Saga" history thing. (Just so we're clear, it's just the history thing that's pretty skippable. Not the handbook profiles -- I get a real kick of those. The "Saga" stuff leaves me cold.) But anyway, I'm reading this thing and it gets to the origin of the Green Goblin and mentions that Norman Osborn considered Mr. Coffee as a name before going with Green Goblin.

Now I'm normally big on obscure references and callbacks and archaic trivia and all that, but really now -- "Mr. Coffee" is canon? A lame joke is now an arguably key component of the Green Goblin's history?

Just so we're clear, I'm not angered or anything by how "Mr. Coffee" has seemingly become such an important part of the Green Goblin's back story. It might read that I'm full of rage, but I assure you I'm, if anything, relaxed to the point of distraction here (I've had to proofread this post several times already just to be sure it makes sense). Still, I find this terribly vexing. I mean, really -- Mr. Coffee? Yeesch.

 

More Songs I Can't Stand!

I'm so, so, so very sorry to foist more melodic abominations upon you dear reader, but there's something strangely cathartic about realizing the awful music you were bombarded with as a kid is actually awful. I mean, sure you might've listened to it and acted like all was well, but the whole time you were thinking this is garbage. It's nice to get that kind of thing out there.

Not that I expect anyone else to really care about what kind of music I dislike, but hey, isn't the point of a blog to put your pointless opinion out there for an uninterested world to see? And even if you could care less about what I've got to say, at least you get some awful music out it, right?

The Problem with People Who Speak Their Minds...

The only problem with people who speak their minds is unless they have a whole lot going on up there, most of what they say is probably going to be pretty awful.

And with that I direct you Megan Fox's latest bit of delightful incoherence where she equates Transformers director Michael Bay to Hitler. And then, possibly even more embarrassingly, a pre-pubescent thirteen year-old boy:

"He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it’s endearing to watch him. He’s vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he’s a tyrant. Shia and I almost die when we make a Transformers movie."

Oh Megan Fox. You never fail to disappoint, I'll give you that.

I also freely cop to the fact that in spite of that bizarre soundbite I'm not above ogling a picture of Ms. Fox in varying states of undress while appearing to make-out with herself. Not that being willing to admit this makes it any better, I suppose.

Via Entertainment Weekly (which has a whole lot of Megan Fox hilarity besides this latest bit).